The sky god of billions turns out to be Paul of Tarsus under white sheets.
A group calling themselves Mystery, Inc. unmasked the sky god that has been worshipped by many around the world for a great number of years, as Paul of Tarsus a.k.a Saul of Tarsus a.k.a Vinny the Kid.
Tarsus was arrested for inciting murder, organized extortion, child molestation, genocide and the brainwashing of billions in his Jerusalem condo last Saturday.
Mystery, Inc. spokesman and investigator Fred “Freddie” Jones said he himself was shocked to learn that it was in fact Tarsus under a white sheet scaring farmers and sheep herders at night, then preaching stories about his invented messiah and god during the day. “It’s really sad when you think about. What people will do for money and fame.” Jones said. “It’s been a rough night and we all need some rest.”
“…And I would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!!“
- Paul of Tarsus
Velma Dinkley, one of the investigators stumbled upon the “sky god” mystery one late afternoon after realizing that a number of people around her where “full of shit”.
Leading the investigation, she noticed great flaws in the “god myth” early on. “If something by definition cannot be measured in any way, it doesn’t exist.” she said. “We found a number of sheets with eye holes in them in Saul’s apartment and a number of notes indicating he must’ve done some drafts of his god stories before he went out and told them. He made up things here and there as he went along, but most of this material was pre-written and was clearly intended to brainwash, intimidate and control the poor and uneducated of this region people.”
According to another investigator Daphne Blake, Paul “did it for the money and the ‘bling-bling’.”
“People were asked to make donations to his organization; That brought in most of his income. He had the local government under his arm as well, so he wouldn’t have to pay taxes. In fact, his organization started collecting taxes from the people at one point.” said Blake.
The groups hippie Norville “Shaggy” Rogers while eating a huge sandwich said “we’re just happy to get outta that place alive, ain’t we Scoob?”. Said the Great Dane standing next to him: “urhurh”.
Paul upon his arrest said he would’ve gotten away with it “it wasn’t for those meddlin’ kids!!”
